Gohan Meets The School Nurse
by Cullen
Summary: Gohan visits the school nurse for his physical unaware that this amazon has a passion for pain.


Gohan Meets The School Nurse  
  
By Cullen Pittman  
  
It was another typical day in Orange Star High School. Teenager Gohan was at   
  
his desk listening to the lecture his teacher was giving. He was trying his   
  
best to pay attention for he knew his Mom would get angry if he didn't learn   
  
anything in school each day. His strict Mom had a sixth sense about these   
  
things.  
  
Just then, the principal on the intercom spoke. "Culpepper, Peter", said the   
  
principal. "Report to the nurse's office for your physical!"  
  
"Oh no!" cried a nerdy looking student next to Gohan's desk shaking nervously.  
  
"What's wrong Peter?" asked Gohan. "You don't want to see the nurse?"  
  
"She's not a nurse! She's a monster!" cried Peter. "A witch! A harpy lady!   
  
AN AMAZON! I'm not going into that office of doom! They can't make me!"  
  
"PETER CULPEPPER!!" shouted a woman's Brazilian accented voice. "You have   
  
exactly 5 seconds to report to my office. OR ELSE!!" And the loud voice   
  
boomed through the intercom knocking the entire class back.  
  
"Yes Ma-am", said Peter sweating as he got up and rushed out of the room   
  
while Gohan looked puzzled.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
At recess, Gohan was talking to his friend Videl about what happened today.  
  
"Oh yes", said Videl in a meek voice. "It's time for our annual physicals in   
  
the nurse's office."  
  
"What's a physical?" asked Gohan.  
  
"It's where the school nurse examines each of us to see if we're fit and   
  
healthy", said Videl. "You know. She looks down our throats, listens to   
  
our hearts, takes our blood, and all that stuff."  
  
"She takes our blood?" gasps Gohan. "She sounds like a vampire to me! No   
  
wonder why Peter was so nervous about seeing her."  
  
"That's what everyone in the school's been saying about our new nurse", said   
  
Videl. "I haven't met her yet, but they claim that she's really tall and   
  
comes from the Amazon jungle and uses brutal techniques to see if you're   
  
strong and fit. And she can come down hard on kids who are weak."  
  
"Oh dear!" said Gohan sweatdropping. Then they saw Peter limping, with his   
  
face looking very pale, and holding his chest in pain. "Peter, what happened   
  
to you?!" cried Gohan as he and Videl went over to help him sit down on a   
  
bench.  
  
"It's that mad nurse!" cried Peter in pain. "You won't believe the sadistic   
  
things she did to me!"  
  
"What kind of things?!" asked Videl.  
  
"First she started poking me until she cracked my ribcage!" stuttered Peter.   
  
"Then she made me run in place for who knows how long?!"  
  
"Gee!" said Videl. "I wondered why the principal hasn't called in anymore   
  
students to the nurse today."  
  
"Then she hit my knee really hard causing me to limp!" cried Peter. "Then   
  
she used a huge needle to suck out almost every pint of blood I got which   
  
is why I'm so pale!"  
  
"That's horrible!" gasped Gohan.  
  
"And what's worse!" cried Peter. "She only gave me a sugarless cookie to   
  
recharge myself! THE HORROR!"  
  
"This nurse seems more deadly than I thought!" said Videl. "I wonder who'll   
  
be her next victim?"  
  
"Son, Gohan! Report to my office for your physical!" said the nurse's   
  
booming voice from the intercom. "BEFORE I BREAK YOUR ELBOWS!"  
  
"Uh, oh!" said Gohan sweating bullets. "I guess I'd better go."  
  
"Have courage!" said Peter in a shaking voice.  
  
"Here, take this", said Videl giving Gohan some kind of beeper.  
  
"What's this?" asked Gohan.  
  
"If that nurse does something really horrible to you", said Videl. "Press   
  
this button and I'll send the police force in after you."  
  
"Thank you Videl", smiled Gohan putting the beeper in his shirt pocket. "It's   
  
good to have a good friend like you by my side. Wish me luck."  
  
"I'll wish a miracle for you Gohan", said Videl as she sat down on the bench   
  
to calm Peter down.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Gohan arrived at the office of the nurse and knocked on the door. "Come in!"   
  
said the tough Brazilian sounding voice. Gohan entered the room and saw   
  
it was a typical medical office with a scale, eye chart, examination table,   
  
and a sink. He also noticed a picture on the wall of some kind of jungle   
  
tribe made entirely of women. "Maybe she is an amazon?" wondered Gohan.  
  
"So you're Son, Gohan?" said a voice from behind him. Gohan's heart beated   
  
as he turned around and was looking face to face, no make that face to breast   
  
at the school nurse. She was a young 20 something woman who was nine feet   
  
tall, had dark skin, shaggy black hair, and was wearing a sleeveless nurse's   
  
uniform exposing her huge muscular arms. "I am Nurse Zonna! Welcome to   
  
my office."  
  
"How do you do?" said Gohan bowing nervously. "I..."  
  
"You will speak only when spoken too mere student!" shouted Zonna knocking   
  
Gohan back. Gohan quickly remained silent. "Hmmm," said Zonna studying   
  
the teenager who was trying really hard not to show fear. "You look like just   
  
another scrawny nerdy bookworm that was brought into my office", said Zonna.   
  
"We'll just see about that. Take off your shirt!" Gohan complied and took   
  
off his black vest and then his white shirt exposing his muscular torso.  
  
"My!" said Zonna impressed as she walked around a nervous and chilly Gohan   
  
studying his physique. "Maybe you do have the potential to be a strong fit   
  
young man. Let the examination begin!" And she took Gohan's vest and shirt   
  
from him squeezing them to death while a cracking sound was heard. "Oh, did   
  
you have some kind of watch in your shirt?" she asked concerned. "TOUGH   
  
LUCK!" and she hung the vest and shirt on a coat rack.  
  
"That was Videl's beeper!" thought Gohan nervously. "Now I won't be able   
  
to contact her!" Then Zonna picked up Gohan like he was a little kid and put   
  
him on the table. "First I will examine your ears!" said Zonna taking out an   
  
ear checker. "My, you got unusual big ears. Almost like a baboon. I think   
  
I will call you Baboon Boy for the rest of your physical! HA HA HA!" Gohan   
  
frowned as the sadistic nurse started looking in his huge ears unaware that   
  
this nurse was examining a teen who was part Saiyan.  
  
"Say AHHHH!" said Zonna as she yanked open Gohan's mouth and pulled out   
  
his tongue so she can look down his throat! "EYEEW!" shouted Zonna as she   
  
shut Gohan's mouth and held her nose. "What have you been eating for lunch   
  
today?"  
  
"Garlic pizza", said Gohan nervously.  
  
"Well, you should stop eating it!" demanded Zonna. "It's not good for your   
  
puny arteries! Baboon Boys like you should be eating bananas! Now I am   
  
going to check your eyeballs!" And she took out another device and looked   
  
into Gohan's eyes. To her shock, she saw an image of a huge monster baboon   
  
growling at her.  
  
"YIPE!" gasped Zonna as she stepped back in shock.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" asked Gohan.  
  
"I did not tell you to speak!" shouted Zonna. "The only time you will speak   
  
now is when you're reading this eye chart! What do these letter's go on to   
  
spell?" Gohan read the words out loud. "I AM A FILTHY BABOON BOY."   
  
Gohan gasped for it seemed like one of the biggest coincidences in the world.  
  
"You got that right my little baboon!" snickered Zonna. "Now I am going to   
  
examine your chest!" And she slammed Gohan on his back and started tapping   
  
all over his chest with her fingers. And very hard too!  
  
"So this is how Peter broke his ribs!" thought Gohan as the sadistic nurse   
  
was about to give him one huge final poke. But his Saiyan chest was so   
  
rock hard, that Zonna just ended up denting her fingers.  
  
"OW! OW! OWIE!" cried Zonna as she saw two of her fingers now dented back.   
  
She just pulled her fingers back in shape. "You were the first boy in here to   
  
withstand my tapping!" said Zonna impressed. But let's see how you can   
  
handle heart-pounding exercise. Get off the table and jog in place until I   
  
tell you to stop!" shouted Zonna. Gohan complied and started jogging in   
  
place while the nurse went into the other room. "And do not stop to take a   
  
breath!" said Zonna. "I'll know!"  
  
"She's just like my mom! But more scarier!" thought Gohan as he kept running   
  
in place wondering when the nurse would come out to tell him to stop. But   
  
what he didn't know was that Zonna was in the other room watching the movie   
  
video, Titanic.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
About 3 hours later, Zonna came out of the room and saw Gohan still jogging   
  
in place panting very hard while sweat was running down his body, his orange   
  
pants, his sneakers, and onto the floor. "Okay Baboon Boy", said Zonna.   
  
"You can stop running as soon as I find my stethoscope. Now where did I put   
  
it?" And she started looking around the room while poor Gohan was still   
  
jogging wanting this nightmare to stop.  
  
"Now I remember", said Zonna going to an icebox. "I left it in this icebox   
  
when I went to get me a diet soda", and she took the stethoscope from the   
  
freezing box. "Now you can stop running", said Zonna as she picked up the   
  
panting sweaty Gohan and put him back on the table. Gohan panted and looked   
  
nervously as he saw Zonna pick the icicles off the metal piece of the   
  
stethoscope.  
  
"Perhaps this will cool you down", smiled Zonna wickedly as she placed the   
  
freezing cold metal piece on different parts of his bare chest while Gohan   
  
shivered. Then Zonna made the mistake of putting the stethoscope against   
  
his heart for a Saiyan's heartbeat was really powerful, especially when the   
  
sound gets increased by a stethoscope.  
  
"THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!" went Gohan's rapidly LOUD beating heart. Zonna   
  
screamed at the loud piercing noise and leapt back crashing into a medicine   
  
cabinet causing some vitamin pills to spill on her head.  
  
"Are you okay, ma'am?" asked Gohan still panting.  
  
"No, I don't eat ham!" said a dazed Zonna who was still hearing those   
  
dramatic heartbeats in her head. "Pork is bad for you." Then she stuck her   
  
fingers in her ears to clear them so she could hear again. "You definitely   
  
sound like you have the heart of a fighter", said Zonna impressed again.   
  
"And you kept up your jog for 3 whole hours. You truly are an amazing boy.   
  
Baboon Boy!" Gohan both smiled and frowned at the compliment and the insult.  
  
"Now I'm going to check your blood pressure", said Zonna as she wrapped a   
  
blood pressure cloth around his arm and started pumping on it. "Make a   
  
muscle!" said Zonna and Gohan flexed his powerful Saiyan muscle causing   
  
the cloth to snap off.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry ma'am", said Gohan nervously. "And I'm sorry I spoke without   
  
permission too! Oh no! I spoke again!"  
  
"Relax Baboon Boy!" said Zonna now with a pleasant smile. "So far, you've   
  
really impressed me! You are so strong and fit that I just can't believe it!   
  
You've earned the privilege to speak without permission. Just two more   
  
tests and it'll all be over."  
  
"Thank you", sighed Gohan.  
  
"But It'll be just the beginning for us", thought Zonna sinisterly. "Cross   
  
your legs please." Gohan crossed his legs thinking she was going to use   
  
a reflex hammer on him. But Zonna took out a real nail-driving hammer.   
  
Gohan started sweating some more. "No wonder why Peter was in such bad   
  
shape when he left the nurse's office", he thought.  
  
"Let's see if my little baboon has good reflexes", said Zonna as she slammed   
  
that hammer on Gohan's knee. The result was Gohan kicking the nurse far   
  
across the room and through the wall.  
  
"Uh, oh!" thought Gohan. "I'm in trouble again!" Then Zonna emerged through   
  
the hole she just made with mystery meat sauce all over herself for that room   
  
she crashed through led to the cafeteria supply room. "That was one amazing   
  
reflex Gohan!" smiled Zonna with tears in her eyes. But not tears of pain,   
  
tears of joy.  
  
"You called me Gohan?" asked Gohan puzzled.  
  
"Yes, you've been promoted from the lowly name of Baboon Boy back to your   
  
true original name", smiled Zonna. "Now the last thing I got to do is to take   
  
some blood." And she took out a huge 10 inch long needle.  
  
"YIKES!" thought Gohan as he shut his eyes as Zonna grabbed his arm. Gohan   
  
waited for the pain, but so far didn't feel anything. He opened his eyes and   
  
saw Zonna trying to stab his arm, but the needle just broke off. Gohan also   
  
saw a bunch of other broken needles on the floor, for it seemed she tried to   
  
do it a number of times.  
  
"It appears your blood doesn't want to leave your body", said Zonna. "It is   
  
strong willed and stubborn. Just like a real man. Oh, Gohan! You did it!   
  
YOU PASSED!" shouted Zonna happily as she hugged a shocked Gohan.  
  
"You mean I passed my physical?" asked Gohan surprised.  
  
"Not only that!" smiled Zonna with passion in her eyes. "You've won my   
  
heart. You are worthy to be my husband!"  
  
"HUSBAND?!!" gasped Gohan turning white. "You're kidding right!"  
  
"Amazon princesses never kid!" said Zonna cooly.  
  
"You're an Amazon P-princess?!" stuttered Gohan.  
  
"You see my love", smiled Zonna leaning over while making circle marks on   
  
Gohan's chest with her fingernail. "My mother, the Queen of Amazons, sent me   
  
out into the world so I could find a true love. But not just any love! A   
  
love who is strong and muscular. So I took a job as a nurse here to find and   
  
examine a boy who is my equal. And that lucky boy is you Son, Gohan!   
  
You're going to make a wonderful husband for me!"  
  
"But, I can't get married!" gasped Gohan. "I got my studies and my Mom   
  
won't like it if I just dump it all because of marriage. She can be a really   
  
scary Mother-In-Law. Trust me!" And he tried to get off the table, but   
  
Zonna pushed him against the wall.  
  
"We won't have to worry about that obstacle!" smiled Zonna. "Because I'm   
  
going to take you back to my kingdom in the jungle! You'll love living   
  
with me, my mother, and my amazon sisters. And no one will dare come   
  
after you, for my kingdom is guarded by dangerous panthers, pythons, and   
  
mosquitoes! Trust me. You will be very happy, or else I'll beat the   
  
happiness in you!" And she put Gohan in a headlock and was about to kiss   
  
him.  
  
"FORGET IT!" shouted Gohan who used his Saiyan strength to break free from   
  
Zonna's grip and was about to rush out the door, but got electrified when he   
  
touched the doorknob and fell onto the floor.  
  
"Silly little baboon!" giggled Zonna. "I made such preparations in case my   
  
chosen boy tries to get cold feet on me! Minions, come forth and bind him!"   
  
Gohan raised his head and saw a bunch of huge spiders come out of the room   
  
Zonna had been in while he was jogging. They shot powerful strings of   
  
webbing tying up Gohan's legs, then his torso, and then his face until only   
  
his mouth was showing.  
  
"What were those things?!" cried Gohan who couldn't move a muscle nor could   
  
see.  
  
"Special steel spiders of the Amazon!" said Zonna. "They feed upon the scrap   
  
metal of fallen military vehicles and use them to weave strong steel webbing   
  
which no one can escape. Not even the strongest man on Earth!" Gohan tried   
  
hard to break free, but the webbing just gotten tighter!  
  
"Please Nurse Zonna!" pleaded Gohan. "You're a nice girl, sometimes though,   
  
but I don't really want to give up my freedom now! Can't we want a few   
  
months, or years, or maybe milleniums?!!"  
  
"Relax my future husband!" smiled Zonna making Gohan sit up. "Once I kiss   
  
you with my hypnotic lipstick, you will think about nothing but me forever!"   
  
And just as she was about to put those lips against Gohan's trembling lips.   
  
The door burst open.  
  
"What the...?" gasped Zonna causing her to drop Gohan.  
  
"Hold it right there you naughty nurse!" called out a familiar voice.   
  
"Videl?" gasped Gohan in a relieved voice.  
  
"What are you doing in here?!" demanded Zonna back in her hostile voice.  
  
"That does not look like bandages my friend is covered with!" said Videl. "Me   
  
and my cop friends are here to put a stop to your twisted ways!"  
  
"That's what you think you scrawny little runt!" shouted Zonna. "My spiders!   
  
Seize them!" But then Gohan heard some loud spraying and then Zonna scream.   
  
"NO! MY BABIES! YOU KILLED THEM!"  
  
"Serves you right you psycho-nurse!" shouted Videl. "Now I'm gonna show   
  
you what this scrawny little runt can do!" And Gohan suddenly heard some   
  
women screaming while sharp blows were heard. Gohan wished he could   
  
see this cat fight. But then his sight came back when a cop went over and   
  
used some metal clippers to clip Gohan's eyes free.  
  
"Are you okay kid?" asked the cop.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be fine", said Gohan a little dazed and looked around and found   
  
dead spiders on the floor covered with bug spray and the psycho Amazon   
  
Princess in the corner all beat up while Videl was dusting her hands.   
  
"That'll teach you to seduce one of my friends you Ama-Zonk!" said Videl.   
  
Then she went over to Gohan. "Gohan, are you all right?" she asked concerned.  
  
"I think so", said Gohan. "But how did you know to come get me? She broke   
  
the beeper and I wasn't able to contact you."  
  
"Elementary my dear Gohan", smiled Videl. "When I heard my own beeper   
  
make a strange static noise. I knew that witch must've somehow destroyed it!   
  
I knew that was the time to call in the cops. And it was lucky for us that   
  
they were each carrying a can of Raid just in case of rampaging spiders."  
  
"Thank you Videl", smiled Gohan. "You're really a great friend."  
  
"Hey, as the daughter of a superhero, it's my job to protect weaklings like   
  
you", giggled Videl. "Now how about I cut you free?" And she took some   
  
metal scissors and started snipping Gohan free from his steel cocoon. That's   
  
when she noticed Gohan's muscular bare chest and arms. "Maybe I should   
  
take back that weakling crack", thought Videl. "Nyaah!"  
  
"Hey, where's that wacko lady?" asked a cop.  
  
"I think she got away", said another.  
  
"How could she?" demanded a third cop. "We were all blocking the doorway!"  
  
"Does that answer your question?" said a fourth pointing to a hole in the   
  
wall that led to outside, shaped like a 9 foot woman.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
A month later, things got back to normal for Gohan and Videl. They were   
  
sitting at their desks, but noticed their friend Peter was still absent. "I   
  
wonder when Peter will come back?" said Gohan. "I hope that amazon witch   
  
didn't cripple him for life!"  
  
"Actually, I got this letter from him yesterday", said Videl as she handed   
  
Gohan a letter and a picture. It read...  
  
"Dear Videl. It's Peter. Don't worry about me. I'm doing a lot better.   
  
You won't believe this, but that day I was tortured by Nurse Zonna, I   
  
suddenly found her hiding in my garden shed. I was really nervous and   
  
scared at first, but then I found she was in tears. She told me she was   
  
sorry about the way she abused me and even gave me some special Amazonian   
  
medicine that helped cure the parts she abused. I let her hide out in my shed   
  
for a while and we got to know each other and started enjoying each other's   
  
company."  
  
"She soon invited me back to her home in the Amazon jungle and I was   
  
surprised to find she was an Amazon Princess. One thing led to another and   
  
suddenly I ended up being her new husband and we couldn't be happier.   
  
I don't know if I'll ever be back, but I want you and Gohan to know that   
  
Nurse Zonna won't be back either. I bet that should make you two happy.   
  
Good luck to both of you. Sincerely. Peter Culpepper."  
  
PS. Enclosed is a photo of us on our wedding day."  
  
Gohan looked at the picture and it showed Princess Zonna in a tribal wedding   
  
gown, carrying Peter in her arms wearing a camouflage colored tux. "I hope   
  
he'll live happily ever after", sighed Gohan. "Or at least he'll live period."   
  
And he smiled and looked at the lovely Videl wondering if he would ever   
  
go on a date with her or maybe even marry her.  
  
THE END  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
I hope you enjoyed my first DBZ fic. And Dragon Ball Z is property of  
  
Funimation productions. 


End file.
